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How to Maintain Family Bonds

By admin | September 5, 2009

Do you find you have less and less time to spend with your parents and siblings? Are you working crazy hours  or busy with your own spouse/kids that you feel you are losing some connection with your family?

The amount of time available to spend with your family of origin may be limited bu how can you maintain your family ties in order to have a close relationship with them?

  1. Use technology to stay in touch. If you don’t get to see your family as often as you would like, there are many ways to stay in touch using technology. I recently set my parents up on Skype with a webcam so that they could chat with my brother’s kids over the computer and seem them! I use Instant Messaging to chat with my cousins abroad and now, with the advent of Facebook, I can see quick updates of what extended relatives are up to. Although technology can seem impersonal, it can be a great tool to catch up with family members when you cannot see them in person.
  2. Reminisce together. The more you remember the good times together and/or grieve the hard times together, the closer you and your family members can become. By remembering old stories, you can laugh together, share stories and remember the times you shared. By bringing up the past, sharing old stories and remembering fun times, you can rebuild relationships and remind yourselves that the fondness, understanding and fun can be experienced again.
  3. Express yourself. Sometimes, family bonds can be strained when one person’s feelings are hurt by something that was done or said by another member of the family. In order to maintain close bonds, express your concerns or your hurt feelings. Family members often don’t know that what they said or did was hurtful. If it is a recurring problem, learn to set boundaries. For example, if a family member continues to berate your work, let them know that this is upsetting to you, and that you would like to avoid that topic in the future. Expressing your feelings, hurt, anger and happiness with family is a way to be authentic with them and share who you really are so that you can be close and enjoy the time you spend together.
  4. Spend quality time together. Spending time together is one of the easiest ways to maintain close ties with your family. Although time with family can sometimes be stressful, it can also be fun, encouraging and full of laughter. Have routine visits with your family so that you can spend quality time with them which will allow you to create the close relationships you are looking for.
  5. Create family traditions. Create some memorable family traditions that can be passed down to future generations. Whether it is a family vacation to the beach each year or baking Christmas cookies together each holiday season find something that will be memorable and fun, and be sure to follow through on making them traditions. The more effort you put into these traditions, the more  they will become something to look forward to.

Family relationships and bonds can be hard to maintain as we get older. Every family has their share of stress and conflict, but if you remember the great things family can bring to your life – connection, love, stability, laughter and joy – you will see that the good things far outweigh the bad. Spending some time either visiting, calling or sharing will help keep the bonds strong, and allow you to have healthy, positive relationships with family members for years to come.

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